It's mind-boggling.

It's absolutely, utterly, and completely mind-boggling.

The more I let you play outside with your sisters and their friends, the more of YOU I see emerging. I understand now what your teachers have been talking about. They tell me how you've been with the other kids in your class. About how you're suddenly making eye contact with them, and trying your very best to interact with them. It's almost like you WANT to play with them, but you don't know how, and you don't even know how to make your feelings known.

Intellectually I've understood this, but that's completely different than seeing it first-hand.

Obviously, you were playing outside again today. You came running out of the house - somebody had left the gate open, but luckily I was standing right there by the front door - and immediately ran towards the other kids. I ran and got you, and then took you for a little walk down the street and back again. You came into our garden, and saw Jack standing by the wall between our garden and theirs. You looked at him, and you had this look on your face. It's hard to explain in words, but I could just tell that you wanted to go in there and see him. Jack's absolutely in love with you - he'll just walk in the house to come see you when he wants to, it's that bad. And I think you've picked up on that. You seem to know things on an instinctive level, almost like an E.S.P. or something. You've been like that with me your entire life. YOU know when *I* need comforting, even when I don't say a word. You seem to know when somebody really likes - or loves - you, and you respond accordingly.

So I walked you over to their gate and let you in. You walked over to Jack and looked at him a while, blurting of course (the only time you DON'T blurt is when you've got something in your mouth or when you're sleeping! ). Then you walked into their house and... as usual... went into Charlene's room. You really seem to like it in there. I think it's for the same reason you like being in MY room. I think it's the bed. I'd be willing to bet money that you'd like to have a big double bed for yourself. If you had room for one in your bedroom, I'd try to get you one. (We can't afford to buy one outright, but I'd be willing to bet there would be some way to get you one.)

You were in and out for most of the evening, getting spoiled (you ALWAYS get spoiled over there!) and flirting with Daniel again. About 8:30, I decided to take you guys in, because I wanted to get Lexi in the bath before putting her to bed.

YOU WOULD NOT COME IN THE HOUSE!!!

It took me AND Charlene to get you in. You absolutely, positively, did NOT want to come in. It took BOTH of us telling you that, as long as the weather was good, you could come back out and play tomorrow before you RELUCTANTLY came in the house. And when I was bringing your sisters' toys back in, you kept trying to sneak back out the door!

I've never seen you like this. I've never, in my life, seen you so adamant to spend time outside with other people. Especially when it's your sisters. You usually seem to prefer it when they're OUT of the house, AWAY from you. If they go out for the day - like they did last week - that's when you finally venture out of your room and try to spend time with me. It's almost as if you feel that when they're here, either you don't want to be around them, or you don't think I'll spend the time with you that I do when they're NOT here.

But today, you wanted to be out there, in the thick of things, along with everybody else. And honestly, if it hadn't been so late in the evening and if I hadn't needed to get Lexi in the bath, I probably would have let you stay out there a little longer.

I think this is a good thing... but it's just so WEIRD! You're changing bit by bit, every single day. You're maturing and becoming a totally different person. A wonderful, loving, outgoing person. But it's not what I'm used to, so it surprises me. It boggles my brain.

But I'm so very, VERY proud of you.