Ooops!!!
It embarrasses me how much I do this, but I've done it yet again.
I forgot that you were supposed to be at respite care this week.
Although, in my defense, it's not just that I forgot... it's that I didn't think it could possibly have been this week. The last time you went was May 5th, and it's usually 6 weeks between visits, and I know damned well that May 5th wasn't 6 weeks ago. So it shouldn't have been this week.
I had no way of getting you there anyway. This is our "bad" week - we're flat broke. I had to use the last £2.91 in the bank just to get you and Chloe something to eat for lunch today. It's a good thing Chloe loves toast... she's going to be living on the stuff until Friday.
But since we're so broke, I couldn't even take you over there on the bus. It's a good thing your Dad talked to them when they called, though... because he explained the situation to them, and they came and got you with the van tonight. All I had to do was pack your suitcase.
I had to laugh when they got here, though. You had your big suitcase, and the lady (I can never remember her name, even though I see her there every time I take you over there) was by herself, so I decided I'd walk you to the van with her (she'd parked down the street because she had such a hard time finding our house - no surprise there, everybody gets lost the first time they come to our house). Well... all 3 of your sisters decided they just had to come, too. And they decided they had to climb IN the van to say goodbye to you. Not only that, but they were still finishing their dinners, and brought their plates with them!
And you, being the sneak you are, managed to snatch Lexi's potato waffle off her plate without any of us noticing!
You did something that surprised us all, though. I was climbing in the van to give you a kiss goodbye, and Caitlin was by the window, waving goodbye to you. Before I manged to get to you, you'd WAVED BACK at her!!!!!
You haven't waved hello OR goodbye to anyone since you were a baby, before you were diagnosed with the autism. But I suppose I shouldn't be all that surprised. You and Caitlin have always been very close, even when SHE was a baby. She always understood in an instinctive way that you were different, and always acted like the "big" sister to you. Even when she was only an infant, barely able to walk and say only a few words, she would look out for you. If you were doing something potentially dangerous - like getting too close to the stairs - she would come running to me and try to tell me. The one time you got out of the apartment we'd lived in back in '98 and '99, she tried to tell me. She wasn't very successful at it, but she TRIED to tell me. And nowadays, you seem to know that if your Dad or I aren't in the room, you can go to Caitlin if you need something (like a drink, for example). I just thought that was REALLY cool that you'd waved to her. I just wish I could have seen it. 
I will miss you, though. I always miss you when you're gone. But knowing that you're THERE is a slight comfort. I know that they take VERY good care of you while you're there. And because they have so many staff members, they're able to take you out and do things with you that I ust don't have the resources or time to do. And even when you're just stuck in the house, when the weather's warm, they have that HUGE, absolutely GORGEOUS garden that you can play in. All that room to run around in, and all those plants to look at. You've always liked "green" things. Even when you were 6 months old, if you were in your walker, you'd push it over to the window and just sit there, staring at the trees for what seemed like forever. That's one of the reasons why I've tried to start growing some things in the garden. Not just to make it look nice, although that's part of the reason, too. But becaus I know you like to look at plants and flowers, I thought that it would give you something to attract your interest while you're out there.
But you'll be home on Friday, and that's the day we get paid. So we'll be able to have something nice for dinner, and I'll be able to sit down and talk to you about your visit. You don't exactly engage me in an extended conversation, but you do react to what I say. So when I ask you if you had a good time (which you usually do!), I'll know by your reaction if the answer is "yes" or "no."
I forgot that you were supposed to be at respite care this week.
Although, in my defense, it's not just that I forgot... it's that I didn't think it could possibly have been this week. The last time you went was May 5th, and it's usually 6 weeks between visits, and I know damned well that May 5th wasn't 6 weeks ago. So it shouldn't have been this week.
I had no way of getting you there anyway. This is our "bad" week - we're flat broke. I had to use the last £2.91 in the bank just to get you and Chloe something to eat for lunch today. It's a good thing Chloe loves toast... she's going to be living on the stuff until Friday.
But since we're so broke, I couldn't even take you over there on the bus. It's a good thing your Dad talked to them when they called, though... because he explained the situation to them, and they came and got you with the van tonight. All I had to do was pack your suitcase.
I had to laugh when they got here, though. You had your big suitcase, and the lady (I can never remember her name, even though I see her there every time I take you over there) was by herself, so I decided I'd walk you to the van with her (she'd parked down the street because she had such a hard time finding our house - no surprise there, everybody gets lost the first time they come to our house). Well... all 3 of your sisters decided they just had to come, too. And they decided they had to climb IN the van to say goodbye to you. Not only that, but they were still finishing their dinners, and brought their plates with them!
And you, being the sneak you are, managed to snatch Lexi's potato waffle off her plate without any of us noticing!You did something that surprised us all, though. I was climbing in the van to give you a kiss goodbye, and Caitlin was by the window, waving goodbye to you. Before I manged to get to you, you'd WAVED BACK at her!!!!!
You haven't waved hello OR goodbye to anyone since you were a baby, before you were diagnosed with the autism. But I suppose I shouldn't be all that surprised. You and Caitlin have always been very close, even when SHE was a baby. She always understood in an instinctive way that you were different, and always acted like the "big" sister to you. Even when she was only an infant, barely able to walk and say only a few words, she would look out for you. If you were doing something potentially dangerous - like getting too close to the stairs - she would come running to me and try to tell me. The one time you got out of the apartment we'd lived in back in '98 and '99, she tried to tell me. She wasn't very successful at it, but she TRIED to tell me. And nowadays, you seem to know that if your Dad or I aren't in the room, you can go to Caitlin if you need something (like a drink, for example). I just thought that was REALLY cool that you'd waved to her. I just wish I could have seen it. I will miss you, though. I always miss you when you're gone. But knowing that you're THERE is a slight comfort. I know that they take VERY good care of you while you're there. And because they have so many staff members, they're able to take you out and do things with you that I ust don't have the resources or time to do. And even when you're just stuck in the house, when the weather's warm, they have that HUGE, absolutely GORGEOUS garden that you can play in. All that room to run around in, and all those plants to look at. You've always liked "green" things. Even when you were 6 months old, if you were in your walker, you'd push it over to the window and just sit there, staring at the trees for what seemed like forever. That's one of the reasons why I've tried to start growing some things in the garden. Not just to make it look nice, although that's part of the reason, too. But becaus I know you like to look at plants and flowers, I thought that it would give you something to attract your interest while you're out there.
But you'll be home on Friday, and that's the day we get paid. So we'll be able to have something nice for dinner, and I'll be able to sit down and talk to you about your visit. You don't exactly engage me in an extended conversation, but you do react to what I say. So when I ask you if you had a good time (which you usually do!), I'll know by your reaction if the answer is "yes" or "no."
posted by nukkingphutz | 8:20 PM
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